


Count the Stars as Blessings

by templeandarche



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e04 San Junipero, F/F, Misses Clause Challenge, Post-Canon, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 07:52:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13049742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templeandarche/pseuds/templeandarche
Summary: She stays quiet, and laughs and cries with Kelly and keeps her thoughts to herself.





	Count the Stars as Blessings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hauntedd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedd/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide!

They find routine quickly enough and settle into some habits that reveal their true age.

Kelly loves her music and coffee in the mornings. Yorkie likes to watch her dance around the kitchen, music blasting, preparing eggs and bacon and waffles from scratch. She has no idea how to cook like Kelly - the accident came before she ever had any need to learn - and she fails at Kelly’s few attempts to teach her. It doesn’t boost her confidence level any higher, but it’s not like they actually _have_ to eat, right? 

Kelly grumbles good-naturedly about it while sipping from her San Junipero mug, “Even your soup from a can tastes like crap.” She bursts out laughing when Yorkie throws a damp dish towel at her face.

They don’t have to dust or vacuum or clean the toilet _ever_ again, but the training during the trial run warned users to keep some normality, to retain a few domestic skills and daily to-do lists to help fill the long pockets of eternity.

So Kelly cooks, and Yorkie cleans. 

Yorkie joins in on Kelly’s impromptu rock out to Heart (she has a secret crush on the Wilson sisters) as she washes the after breakfast dishes and sweeps the floor. She likes anything that requires movement and that allows her to stretch her legs.

Kelly sidles up beside Yorkie at the sink and puts the dishtowel on the kitchen counter. “Let’s wave our magic wands just this once,” she says, snapping her fingers. In an instant, the remainders of their meals are gone and the sink dry.

Yorkie protests weakly, but she doesn’t mean it. Statistical data be damned. They can play hookey for one day.

*

Yorkie loves to walk the endless length of the beach.

Thanks to the programmers, there is always enough variation in the patterns; sometimes she finds shells, other days she delights in the cold surf on her feet and the sand that gets stuck between her toes, sometimes it storms so hard the rain plasters her clothes to her frame as she witnesses the lightning strike out at the sea.

Those days are her favorite ones. Kelly likes to strip her wet clothes off in the foyer and help her dry with warm, fluffy towels. Soon Yorkie isn’t shaking from cold but from heat. Kelly’s clothes quickly follow and they both end up on top of a pile of wet and dry clothing, mouths and bodies fused and their hands clasped together.

*

They fight. 

Not often, but they still fight.

Kelly can retreat into guilt-ridden funks about passing over. She tries to hide it from Yorkie by starting little disagreements with her about nothing of importance; maybe changing the weather around their home without asking or tracking sand into the living room from her walk on the beach.

Yorkie simply waits patiently for her dark mood to pass. When Kelly re-emerges, bubbling over with tears and 'I'm sorrys' and kisses, she welcomes her wife back with open arms. They spend the next hours, wrapped up together on the couch while Kelly shares stories of Rich and Allison. Yorkie strokes her hair and listens, even though she envies Kelly’s lifetime of experiences.

She got to live a full life, one filled with love and birth and misery and death. Yorkie had to die before her life could even start.

She stays quiet, and laughs and cries with Kelly and keeps her thoughts to herself.

*

Yorkie`s insecurity has caused its own share of arguments. Kelly attracts admirers like bees to honeysuckle and while the regulars at Tuckers know she and Kelly are a couple, a new tourist or two always tries to steal a conversation or a kiss.

There is trust, a _deep_ trust, but Yorkie still wonders why Kelly could want her over the others. The ones that are brighter, prettier, and sexier than she is.

Rarely does the fight break out on the dance floor. Instead, Yorkie tries to bury her uncertainty inside and moves stiffly to the beat of the music. Her stomach is in knots as she takes in all the beautiful people around her and wonders who Kelly could fall in love with next. 

Kelly’s eyes are soft and Yorkie knows that she thinks she’s just being nervous again and feeling out of sorts. Shy, naive, little Yorkie, who never could manage to even speak to a girl she liked before San Junipero.

Yorkie manages to keeps in it until they’re back home. Kelly is revved from drink and dance and heads outside. She calls for Yorkie to follow, but she shakes her head and instead watches Kelly twirl in the sand from the French doors of the bedroom.

“Stop moping, Yorkie!” Kelly tells her, in between spins. “Whatever it is, it’s not worth the time spent.” Her smile is brilliant and she misses the sheen in Yorkie’s eyes. “Come dance with me forever in the moonlight.”

 _How long is forever_ , Yorkie wonders selfishly, that small part of her terrified that Kelly will leave her - one day wake up in their paradise and want someone else. Or just want to unplug and roll the dice on the universe and see if her family is out there, somewhere in the cosmos.

Kelly notices her hesitation. “Hey, what is it?” She asks, arms outstretched. “Come here.” Kelly beckons one-handed, her bracelets jangling. Yorkie clings to her, burying her face in Kelly’s hair, memorizing her scent and the feel of her skin.

Just in case.

*

Another week, another Saturday night.

This time, they stay in.

Davis had buzzed on the combox, mentioning a rematch with Kelly at the arcade and a beer with them both in 2002. 

Instead, they choose wine, candlelight and some Nina Simone. The needle scratches periodically but the record never skips and the song is made for slow dancing.

Yorkie closes her eyes and sways gently side to side, cradling Kelly in her arms. “We couldn’t do this in school.” She speaks so low it takes Kelly a second to comprehend. “Couldn’t what, dance?” she replies.

“Not like this.” Yorkie pulls back to create some space between them, but makes sure her hands don’t leave the back of Kelly’s neck.

“You had to leave room enough for God when you danced.” At Kelly’s laugh, she goes on. “No, I’m serious. And there was no way you and I could have slow danced together at a school function.”

Kelly hugs her tight and Yorkie feels safe and whole, and ready to spill all the secrets of her unhappy childhood. “It was worse at home, though.”

Yorkie leans into the hand Kelly uses to brush her hair back. “I wasn’t even allowed to watch _Star Wars_ for God’s sake.”

“What?” 

“My parents felt the force was too ‘New Age-y’.” 

‘I’m sorry,” Kelly manages between giggles, “but that’s hilariously fucked up.”

Yorkie laughs with her. It feels good to be able to laugh about it and to talk about her parents and not angrily seethe or bawl. There was love there, once. When she was very little, perhaps and didn’t understand about god or religion.

But she doesn't really miss them. Not the way Kelly misses her family.

Before she can further dwell on the past and ruin her mood she lets Kelly lead her over to the couch. “You wanna talk about it?” 

“No.” Yorkie answers. ”Not really. Not tonight.”

For now, she puts it all away - all the fear and guilt and the what if’s she hasn’t the answers to - and locks it up inside of her. This marriage, this _love_ , inside this virtual city is the most real thing she’s ever known. 

And Yorkie knows she has forever (however long that might be) with Kelly to figure it all out.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my amazing beta. Any mistakes are my own.


End file.
